40 days

40 days following the birth of a child is called the lohusa period. In English, the word is puerperant, meaning “a woman who has just given birth”. Has anyone even heard of that word? After women are discharged from the hospital, they return home and are joined by moms, sisters, aunts, cousins who help with the care of the baby. The new mother is supposed to sleep, rest, and relax; nothing more, nothing less. There is even a special drink for this period called lohusa şerbeti (a beverage made by boiling cherries or apricots with a little sugar).

The cultural expectation to rest and relax for 40 days after the birth of your child(ren) worked against me the first week. “You need to relax” was the phrase I heard over and over again. Once one of the nurses found out I was staying at the hospital, she made my life a bit difficult. Not only should I be relaxing, but from their perspective, there were plenty of highly-trained nurses who were providing around-the-clock care for my babies. The nurses were fantastic! I wasn't concerned about my babies' care, but none of the nurses loved Natalie and Sophie like I did (and do)!

If I wouldn’t have had a breakdown after returning home days after they were born, I would have thought about relaxing at home, but being at home did not equal relaxation. Twin babies in the NICU does not equal relaxation. And I’m going to guess that twin babies at home will not equal relaxation.